Starting over with a twist

Today, I have had a lot of thoughts and feelings run through my mind. The past two years have been a roller coaster ride that seems at times only slows down for a moment before stepping back up. I have overcome taking on a new job, pregnant at 40, sued for custody of oldest, having the baby and raising two alone, overcoming hurdles at work and trying gain me back. The year after having a baby has been a struggle. Up and down with training at the gym, trying to balance time better between two children, not to mention try having a social and love life. Sometimes, I wonder if it is all worth it. LOL. Of course it is.

I saw a picture of Thelma from Good Times and decided that I must focus on me and what my dreams are. I have let too much negativity creep into my head, heart and soul. I can tell you at times “it” is palatable. Like today, I can feel it sitting there inside where my heart once was. BTW – I sent my heart on vacation to keep it from being broken while I finish the last leg of a long court battle for my oldest child and possibly the youngest. I have always been very fit minded and focused. Switching to IT as a career choice has definitely made a difference in time management, stress level and just needing time to clear my head. I have resumed training at lunch. Twenty minutes of cardio. Each week I step up the level of intensity as time management is making it creative for me. Plus, I leave work to get away from my laptop and the building to focus on me. I am hoping to get back to 30 minutes, but at this time, I am cool with 20 minutes, doing chin ups and leg raises. So for starting over, I have the following goals.

1) Get up to 10 unassisted chin ups
2) Re-train my body to do free style squats again –
3) Have the outline of my abs back
4) Feel incredible no matter what the day looks like
5) Spread the joy I once had again to the world
6) Balance my hips to strengthen my leg training
7) Cook again like I used to – something I miss completely
Wake everyday not like a machine or I have to do this, but with purpose and joy

Some of my goals have never been realized by me in a state of being alone and loving it. That’s why these are goals because this will take some time and struggle to learn to be there 100 percent on me and not feel like I am missing because there isn’t someone in my life. I can’t say I am looking forward to this as I am such a social butterfly, but I think I am missing the message with life. I no longer want to struggle. I no longer want to feel I am doing without. I am living with purpose and my dreams. My dreams didn’t die when I became alone. My dreams were still there burning trying to put the passion back in my heart.

Here’s to Monday with core training in the am with stretching and rolling out. Then to hit the gym for cardio during the lunch hour. Shoulders and calves in the pm. I have things to do with real estate endeavors I am taking on. Remember I am living my dreams and real estate is one of them, so I will discuss in my blogs.

Items for completion this week:

1) Get letters ready to mail out for houses
2) Really wake up for core training in the AM – set alarm clock for 540 am and bookmark core video on YouTube
3) Get heavy duty resistance bands for operation get squats back
4) Get comps for houses
5) Application for money
6) Make appointment to meet contact with VA organization
7) Pre-pack lunches every night before bedtime
Review menus for dinners with kids
9) This week do diet Coke and Mentos experiment
10) Stop and take one picture of something amazing